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Pennies From Heaven with Steve Martin and Bernadette Peters

Abuse

A person in power violently mistreats a person with no strength or power.
And both parties hold the deep belief that the abuse is caused by the abused.

"I don't like to hurt you but you make me."

Years after the abuse has stopped, their common belief continues.
So there can be no apology, no closure, no healing.
"Get over it!  I can't apologize to you when it wasn't my fault!"
There can be little understanding from the public at large.
"Why does she stay with him?"
"Why does he let her treat him like that?"

When children are abused--
Before they've even had a chance to develop identity, connections or strength --
Their shame and lack of self-worth can last forever,
Making them angry, damaged, desperate and ill.

The African American experience is one of abuse.
Both Black and white parties hold a sad and deep belief.

"I am no racist! it's not your color that makes me better than you-- it's you."

Years after slavery is over, the common belief continues.
There can be no real apology, no closure, no healing,
"Get over it!  I can't apologize to you when it wasn't my fault!"
There can be little understanding from outsiders.
"Why do they act like that?"
"Why do they treat each other that way?"

When a people are stripped of their history, culture, connection and strengths --
And then abused violently and consistently --
Their shame and lack of self-worth can last forever --
Giving them anger, damage, desperation and illness
To pass along from generation to generation.

The abusers do their damage and walk away --
Confident in their now-clean hands.
The abused find a little relief in the healing of their physical wounds.
They try to live with or deny or medicate or ignore the pain of believing
That in their essence -- they can be worthy of no better.